Haven’t posted on here in forever…(que the I’m back smile)
I just have to know…
Why do I always fall for your type? Thus shit won’t go away no matter how hard I try. It always seems like maybe I might have done a decent job and then a huge U-Turn. I’m not listening to others any more only to self. Even if there is a lot of evidence pointing to something it seems like the outcome is different for me lately. I gotta get away from this and do my own thing. I haven’t needed a gym so bad as I do lately. The gym is my only place of solitude and I’m stuck in this damn car with the exact person I don’t want to be around. Was I raised different or is it just normal to have feelings in 8 different places these days. Gotta get my head off of this and around my goals. Nobody else is gonna help me achieve them or give me a feeling of “happiness.” Ball is the only thing to consistently do that and until proven wrong it is the only thing that will. I don’t understand how people can be so hypocritical these days. Why you wanna say you hate people that play games with you but turn and play games with me? Done with all the bullshit I’m just gonna do me and be happy. Fuck love I’m tired of trying my heart beats but it beat silent #true #lyrics. Everything else hat seems to go so wrong why go right I guess. I always think something is going right and 1 phone call can change that. Stop telling me lies and be real or move on
I really gotta know…
What is it these days? Im fun for a week but then the same guy you broke up with you text beside me in the bed at 3am. People always wanna talk about being mature and not playing games. I’ve decided these are the ones that play them the most. How are you gonna be all about me for a week and then all that change because of somebody else being selfish? I’m done opening up to people for them to say they wanna get to know me then drop just because old news calls you one night. The only reason that person called you is because they knew you were out with another guy and you’re gonna sit and tell me that they’re gone for a reason but when they call you drop everything. What happened to they don’t matter? I don’t care? All you do is lie? Get out of my face with all the bullshit. I’m tired of being 100% real with people who claim to be real and get 50% in return. Then you wanna call once you realize you don’t want that old shit? Hell no. Get away. Period. I don’t have time for bullshit anymore. Ball is the only thing that I turn to that doesn’t leave. I need some gym time real bad right now. I got to many bent up emotions going through my head. The sad thing is that you wanna talk to me about how you need somebody like me and the 2 people we’ve been around for a week and a half say we got a connection just by the way we look at each other. I’m tired of finding someone that makes me happy and them running because theyre scared that it might be to good. Why can’t people be happy in their own situation instead of looking at what may go wrong? Why don’t you look at what’s right? I purpose it outweighs the wrong any day, but you gotta over think shit and make it so its wrong because it’s to right? Tell me how that makes sense at all. I’m done being nice. It’s not my nature but I’m a dick from now on. It blows my mind how someone so sweet can be so bitter. You open up to me all week and sleep in my bad, on top of me, an say how much you enjoy being around me but all of a sudden something isn’t right. Relationships, whether it be friendship or anything more, don’t work like that. Being guarded gets you nowhere. You aren’t gonna find that guy who climbs a wall or any of that bs. You just get tired of holding up that wall until you let someone in and you think it’s right and 2 months later it was a huge mistake back to the walls being up. Just go with something good in life. Is it that hard? God puts us in certain situations for a reason so why would you not choose happiness? It makes no sense to me how almost 2 weeks can be so good and then cut it all of a sudden? I guess it’s good I dint stay around longer to see the fake come out but damn why you gotta do this to me? You get me to open up and then close yourself like a vault? Get outta here with that bs. Either be real with me or leave me alone PERIOD. I’m done with it
